Checkout
Scan to settle up. @kingjimmc
Pay whatever you decided you paid. JTG Coin also accepted, at par value. We'll know.
The JTG Store
Japanese Tea Garden makes no guarantees regarding the efficacy of any products sold here. All sales final. The universe operates on its own timeline.
Karma
Karma
For when you need to balance the scales.
Karma
A solid investment in your future.
Karma
Reserved for serious situations only.
Karma
Some bad, some good, let the universe decide. Our most popular offering.
Vibes
Vibes
Unspecified but genuine.
Vibes
You tell us, we send them.
Vibes
24 hour dispatch.
Thoughts & Prayers
Thoughts & Prayers
Budget friendly.
Thoughts & Prayers
Denomination unspecified.
Thoughts & Prayers
The complete package.
Thoughts & Prayers
We light a candle.
Seeds in Heaven
Seeds in Heaven
Your seeds will be planted. Location not guaranteed. Heaven is a big place.
Seeds in Heaven
Your seeds have been allocated a specific area. We know where. We're not saying.
Seeds in Heaven
Premium placement. Optimal celestial soil conditions. Watered personally by someone who means well.
Seeds in Heaven are non-refundable. Heaven's return policy is outside our jurisdiction. "We don't know what happens after we sell you these. That's between you and the universe." — Japanese Tea Garden
JTG Coin — The Not So Crypto, Cryptocurrency
"The only currency in history that has never lost a single point of its original value."
JTG Coin
One PDF. One random number. All yours.
JTG Coin
Four PDFs. Four random numbers. Share the wealth.
JTG Coin
Ten PDFs. A leather looking folder. Our respect.
JTG Coin
Twenty five PDFs. A phone call from DJ Falister. Kidney stones permitting.
JTG Coin is not a financial product. Please do not make financial decisions based on JTG Coin. The random number is randomly generated. Its significance is yours to determine.
Checkout
Spiritual offerings above are sold on the honor system. There is no cart. No processor. No receipt. Just you, the number you already decided on, and the quiet certainty that we're watching anyway. Click anything above to settle up. JTG Coin also accepted, at par value. We'll know.
Merch
Merch — Limited to 25
Sold OutYour face. Our photo. Santorini. History. Submit your headshot at the angle of the unidentified man with the camera. You were always there. We just didn't know it yet.
All 25 have been claimed. Whether we make more is undecided. You can't rush genius.
JTG Review Policy — All reviews on the JTG store are five stars. One through four star reviews are not available at this time. They may become available in the future. We wouldn't count on it. If you feel your experience was not five stars we encourage you to reflect more carefully on your experience. Every product we sell has received our highest rating. We are as surprised as you are.
Scan to settle up. @kingjimmc
Pay whatever you decided you paid. JTG Coin also accepted, at par value. We'll know.
All 25 have been claimed. Whether we make more is undecided. You can't rush genius.
If you've found this you're the kind of person this whole thing was made for.
Here's the truth.
I think art is important. I think music is important. I think the people who have the gift to bring vision and inspiration to life are extraordinary and deserve to be celebrated.
I also think we take it too seriously sometimes. We forget that creativity is supposed to be fun. We forget that the joke and the art aren't opposites.
Japanese Tea Garden is my attempt to hold both of those things simultaneously. The absurdity and the sincerity. The joke and the meaning underneath it.
Mark Hannah was real. The heart attack was real. The cone zone was real. The silliness is real. The love underneath all of it is real.
If you got here without me having to explain it — welcome. You were always supposed to find this.
— James McAlister
Founding Member, Japanese Tea Garden